hey you know whenever you see amazing realistic clear wonderful photos, you stare in amazement and ponder at the amazing photographic talent the photographer must have, well, guess what, real life is even better.
look at nature.
the flowers, they are so much better in real life than in photos.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
I feel really bad, like suffocating.
Everytime I see a religious person talk about God, Jesus and preach about them, and what is life, I always go against them.
I always ask "then why did he let us suffer?" "what is life" and "life is unfair."
But now, I've really listened deeply and went through it over my head carefully.
10-13 April 2009- Melbourne Asian Seventh Day Adventist Church Youth Camp.
For the first night, 10 April, I couldn't sleep, I had a nightmare about how my dad and stepmother doesn't care about me. Even my dad abandoned me, for that stepmother I loathe with a burning passion.
11,12,13- William Moala preached to us about how one day a new city will come, and that day, all families will be reunited again- so I can see my mother and brother again, and we will all live eternally peacefully and happily in heaven. I was listening to what he was preaching, and sigh, my heart hurts, I really truly miss my mother and brother so much. I really miss those childhood days where we were all one family, living happily...
Usually I always question "God if there is one"- "Why do you let there to be diseases and sicknesses and people suffering?"
Whenever people ask me to come along to church, I always have an argument against what they are preaching.
But this one, man, I really felt it, I've opened my heart and accepted God to be in my life, because he knows what's best.
William said that people always have lots of questions about God, and always ask questions such as "What is the purpose and meaning of life", and to be able to understand, we have to open our hearts, and let God communicate with us.
God is always there watching over us, even though we don't realise it.
I remember when my mother passed away, my brother told me to read a poem called "Footprints", when I heard that God loves everyone of us and is always there for us, I remembered what Albert, my brother who passed away told me to read.
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
That opened my heart again, I can feel the goosebumps on my arms, and the heart hurting, I've always not accepted God, but He's always there for me, looking down, protecting us all from evil, and He loves us all very much. I feel really bad, but yet again happy, to know that God is always there and He loves us and cares for us.
I've always thought when my father and stepmother are together, and people are mad at me, that no one cares about me, that no one understands how I feel.. But now I really know that God is always there. God never sleeps. God is great.
Thank you Lord.
However, I'm not ready yet to be baptised, I want to study the bible. Read it thoroughly and understand it really well.
When I got back from camp, I got dropped off by Jesslyn, I wanted to let them in, but the frikin plastic bimbo stepmother that I hate so much was there home alone making frikin dumplings.
Ew. I really hate her!
I feel like screaming at her.
She's so stupid.
She can't make/cook anything apart from dumplings, she can't speak English or Indo, she can't understand other people's feelings, she can't be nice to me, etc, etc.
Ugh, I hate her so much!
No, I don't want you to pretend to care for me.
I understand that nightmare I had the other night, I understand that you will influence my dad to not care about me. One day, my dad will abandon me, because you've influenced him to not care about me.
No, I don't want you in my life.
I've always not accepted God, and I've realised I made a mistake, and regretted it.
But no, not this time, I don't want my stepmother in my life.
I don't want to be in the same house as her.
She can't do anything.
She hates me.
I hate her.
Can I move out, please?
I'd rather leave my dad and stepmother, than me being left behind, abandoned.
It's alright. I know I can cope. I know that my mother and brother are there. I know that God is always there for me.
I know I can live without my dad and stepmother.
So, please, just leave me alone, stepmother.
Everytime I see a religious person talk about God, Jesus and preach about them, and what is life, I always go against them.
I always ask "then why did he let us suffer?" "what is life" and "life is unfair."
But now, I've really listened deeply and went through it over my head carefully.
10-13 April 2009- Melbourne Asian Seventh Day Adventist Church Youth Camp.
For the first night, 10 April, I couldn't sleep, I had a nightmare about how my dad and stepmother doesn't care about me. Even my dad abandoned me, for that stepmother I loathe with a burning passion.
11,12,13- William Moala preached to us about how one day a new city will come, and that day, all families will be reunited again- so I can see my mother and brother again, and we will all live eternally peacefully and happily in heaven. I was listening to what he was preaching, and sigh, my heart hurts, I really truly miss my mother and brother so much. I really miss those childhood days where we were all one family, living happily...
Usually I always question "God if there is one"- "Why do you let there to be diseases and sicknesses and people suffering?"
Whenever people ask me to come along to church, I always have an argument against what they are preaching.
But this one, man, I really felt it, I've opened my heart and accepted God to be in my life, because he knows what's best.
William said that people always have lots of questions about God, and always ask questions such as "What is the purpose and meaning of life", and to be able to understand, we have to open our hearts, and let God communicate with us.
God is always there watching over us, even though we don't realise it.
I remember when my mother passed away, my brother told me to read a poem called "Footprints", when I heard that God loves everyone of us and is always there for us, I remembered what Albert, my brother who passed away told me to read.
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
That opened my heart again, I can feel the goosebumps on my arms, and the heart hurting, I've always not accepted God, but He's always there for me, looking down, protecting us all from evil, and He loves us all very much. I feel really bad, but yet again happy, to know that God is always there and He loves us and cares for us.
I've always thought when my father and stepmother are together, and people are mad at me, that no one cares about me, that no one understands how I feel.. But now I really know that God is always there. God never sleeps. God is great.
Thank you Lord.
However, I'm not ready yet to be baptised, I want to study the bible. Read it thoroughly and understand it really well.
When I got back from camp, I got dropped off by Jesslyn, I wanted to let them in, but the frikin plastic bimbo stepmother that I hate so much was there home alone making frikin dumplings.
Ew. I really hate her!
I feel like screaming at her.
She's so stupid.
She can't make/cook anything apart from dumplings, she can't speak English or Indo, she can't understand other people's feelings, she can't be nice to me, etc, etc.
Ugh, I hate her so much!
No, I don't want you to pretend to care for me.
I understand that nightmare I had the other night, I understand that you will influence my dad to not care about me. One day, my dad will abandon me, because you've influenced him to not care about me.
No, I don't want you in my life.
I've always not accepted God, and I've realised I made a mistake, and regretted it.
But no, not this time, I don't want my stepmother in my life.
I don't want to be in the same house as her.
She can't do anything.
She hates me.
I hate her.
Can I move out, please?
I'd rather leave my dad and stepmother, than me being left behind, abandoned.
It's alright. I know I can cope. I know that my mother and brother are there. I know that God is always there for me.
I know I can live without my dad and stepmother.
So, please, just leave me alone, stepmother.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Right, so I have this Bart Simpson t-shirt, where, inappropriately shows his bum.
I thought it would be inappropriate to wear it to the supermarket, so I put on a Polo jumper over it.
It was frikin 24 degrees celsius, and I was like melting, but I still had to endure.
Fortunately, there were lots of old people shopping at that moment- I really wondered why. I looked around and many many elderly were shopping. Was it because today is Thursday, and is the supermarket closed on Easter? Hmm...
So, at least I didn't catch their attention to be the girl with the rude and inappropriate t-shirt.
But, I saw 2 of my primary school friends, as in, friends from primary school.
They now probably think I'm a weirdo, wearing a jumper in 24 degrees, if they still remember me.
Steven.
Jock.
Player.
My best friend in primary school had a crush on him. (No longer best friends- lost contact.)
My other best friend in primary school went out with him. (No longer best friends- lost contact.)
Lots of other girls went out with him afterwards.
Used to be my best friend. Notice the word, USED.
He turned weird all of a sudden and became a player.
Ashlee.
She was the cash register that served me...
Steven, with his mother and sister were served by the cash register next to Ashlee's.
And the song "Eh Eh" started coming on.
...
Awkward..
I thought it would be inappropriate to wear it to the supermarket, so I put on a Polo jumper over it.
It was frikin 24 degrees celsius, and I was like melting, but I still had to endure.
Fortunately, there were lots of old people shopping at that moment- I really wondered why. I looked around and many many elderly were shopping. Was it because today is Thursday, and is the supermarket closed on Easter? Hmm...
So, at least I didn't catch their attention to be the girl with the rude and inappropriate t-shirt.
But, I saw 2 of my primary school friends, as in, friends from primary school.
They now probably think I'm a weirdo, wearing a jumper in 24 degrees, if they still remember me.
Steven.
Jock.
Player.
My best friend in primary school had a crush on him. (No longer best friends- lost contact.)
My other best friend in primary school went out with him. (No longer best friends- lost contact.)
Lots of other girls went out with him afterwards.
Used to be my best friend. Notice the word, USED.
He turned weird all of a sudden and became a player.
Ashlee.
She was the cash register that served me...
Steven, with his mother and sister were served by the cash register next to Ashlee's.
And the song "Eh Eh" started coming on.
...
Awkward..
Friday, April 3, 2009
muziiek.tumblr.com
Montague.
I just love that name.
No, I do not like romeo, or Juliet, for that matter.
Romeo and Juliet are so stupid to like kill themselves just because they love each other.
We finished watching Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet the other day, and our teacher was like, "Which scene do you like the best?"
And I'm like- I like the end, because it shows that the feud between the Capulets and Montagues is over.
He replied- "But, what about where Romeo and Juliet are dead?"
I said, "Yup, I like that bit too. They're so stupid sacrificing their lives just for love."
He insisted- "It's tragic. Tragic."
And I was like.. "Umm.. yes.. okay.."
Oh, and I'm so glad I was away when Shaina disturbed the moment for our english teacher.
I love the song 'Love Story' and Taylor Swift at all, but, umm, the song's like not about the story that Shakespeare wrote...
Alex has these shiny green granny smith apples polished with wax. She loves them because she likes eating wax, and I like them too, because they have 'Montague' stickers.
I stuck one on my jumper, but it seemed to have disappeared nowadays, and I stuck another one on my diary. Montague, is now officially my middle name. :)
IMCH.
methinks i shall just keep it to ich.
17 AGAIN.
I just saw the ad. I REALLLLLLYYYYYYYYY want to see it.
At first, I just wanted to see it, cos Zac Efron's in it, but now, I know the storyline and all, I REALLYYYYYYY want to see it.
I HAVE to see it before Shaina leaves.
Alicia, if you read this, and please do, sorry I forgot your plane letter!
Post 'lymp' if you read this please. lol. thanks.
Oh, and I commented on your blog thing about your best friend, right.. Call me.
It's quite disturbing, as disturbing as that movie we watched in PD.
lol how funny was Shaina when the bell rang at the end of RE lesson, she jumped up and raised both of her arms into the air and shouted "YAYYYYYY!!!!!" like really loudly that Mr.Green heard, and he was like "What do you have next?" and she was like "...Yay.. Personal Development..."
LOL
ANYWAY, ALICIA, I KNOW YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT HOLIDAY AND ALL. BUT CALL ME.
Montague.
I just love that name.
No, I do not like romeo, or Juliet, for that matter.
Romeo and Juliet are so stupid to like kill themselves just because they love each other.
We finished watching Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet the other day, and our teacher was like, "Which scene do you like the best?"
And I'm like- I like the end, because it shows that the feud between the Capulets and Montagues is over.
He replied- "But, what about where Romeo and Juliet are dead?"
I said, "Yup, I like that bit too. They're so stupid sacrificing their lives just for love."
He insisted- "It's tragic. Tragic."
And I was like.. "Umm.. yes.. okay.."
Oh, and I'm so glad I was away when Shaina disturbed the moment for our english teacher.
I love the song 'Love Story' and Taylor Swift at all, but, umm, the song's like not about the story that Shakespeare wrote...
Alex has these shiny green granny smith apples polished with wax. She loves them because she likes eating wax, and I like them too, because they have 'Montague' stickers.
I stuck one on my jumper, but it seemed to have disappeared nowadays, and I stuck another one on my diary. Montague, is now officially my middle name. :)
IMCH.
methinks i shall just keep it to ich.
17 AGAIN.
I just saw the ad. I REALLLLLLYYYYYYYYY want to see it.
At first, I just wanted to see it, cos Zac Efron's in it, but now, I know the storyline and all, I REALLYYYYYYY want to see it.
I HAVE to see it before Shaina leaves.
Alicia, if you read this, and please do, sorry I forgot your plane letter!
Post 'lymp' if you read this please. lol. thanks.
Oh, and I commented on your blog thing about your best friend, right.. Call me.
It's quite disturbing, as disturbing as that movie we watched in PD.
lol how funny was Shaina when the bell rang at the end of RE lesson, she jumped up and raised both of her arms into the air and shouted "YAYYYYYY!!!!!" like really loudly that Mr.Green heard, and he was like "What do you have next?" and she was like "...Yay.. Personal Development..."
LOL
ANYWAY, ALICIA, I KNOW YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT HOLIDAY AND ALL. BUT CALL ME.
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